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GHERKERS
The
Great Conker Replacing Game
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During the
months of September and October, a favorite playground game
is conkers. It is a game which has been played every autumn
for generations.
Numerous schools and councils have come up with batty ideas
to stop kids having fun so we hope to revive an interest
in what we believe is a dying tradition
by introducing
a
subtle yet safe
twist
to the game. GHERKERS!. |
What is a Gherker?
| A Gherker
is an immature cucumber referred to as a gherkin and not
related in any way to the crack fighting men from Napal – the
Gurkhas |
What’s the point?
| There isn’t
one really other than the satisfaction to be had in seeing
the destruction of a few more gherkins in a bizarre way.
But it did make us laugh and kept our two sons occupied for
a full 30 seconds. (we do not have any documentary evidence
to back this up though) |
Rules.
| 1 |
None. Make them up as you went along. |
Playing Suggestions.
| 1 |
Thread 2 similar sized gherkins on some string
(about 2 foot in length), tie a knot in one end and push
the gherkin tight. It is important not to hold the
end with the gherkin on during play as this is simply
stupid. |
| 2 |
Wear a blue top, in trials
2 out of 3 players said wearing blue tops gave them a better
chance of winning. |
| 3 |
Cheat. If it looks like
you are going to loose quickly distract your opponent and
stamp on his gherkin (not your opponant!). |
| 4 |
Forget about playing and check out some of
our hilarious gherkin
abuse video or gherkin
images. |
The future.
| Gherkers made
its debut at the XXVIII Olympiad in Greece as a demonstration
sport. From the overwhelming response the sport received
from both spectators and officials alike, we are confident
that Gherkers will be endorsed as a full Olympic event in
time for the 2008 games in Beijing. |
Disclaimer.
| ihategherkins.com
cannot be held responsible for the actions of any Gurkhas
seeking revenge against persons known to have threaded a
Gurkha with a piece of string either intentionally or unintentionally. |
| CORRECT |
VERY WRONG |
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| Gherkas safely
held in place with a good knot. |
Do not try using Gurkhas! They
are an extremely hard fighting team you would not want to
mess with. |
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